A Perfectly Normal Approach

20250618

Prompt from PrideOnThePage

It’s nothing. I mean, it’s perfectly normal to mess around and experiment with your avatars, right? Especially when you always end up having a dozen characters in each game you play. That’s just… everyone does that. It’s normal.
And it makes sense that I’d make guy avatars. I mean, the outfits for the girl characters are often so cringy. And I’m a mega tomboy. One of the guys. Right? So of course I’d want characters that blend in with everyone else’s. Perfectly natural.
Plus, it’s pragmatic to avoid girl characters in the online games. Means you’re less likely to attract creeps. I’m being smart and looking out for myself. That’s all.
And yes I always spend hours getting my avatars looking just right, but that’s a, a chick thing. Socialised to care about our appearance and how people judge it and all that. Of course you wouldn’t understand.
As for why I always tweak the build to make them look like a normal guy, with my height and colouring and everything, that’s just… it’s… It’s funny to see some average dude saving the world. Yeah, it’s irony.

I trail off as I realise how long I’ve been talking. Way too long to answer the simple question “Say, why’d you always play as a guy?”. My cheeks burn. I don’t even know why I’m suddenly feeling so on edge and defensive.
While it’s harder to figure out if people are trading looks in a video chat, I’m pretty sure the guys are having some silent conversation.
Finally Paul clears his throat. “Well, uh, ok. But… um…”
He falters. Jack pipes up “I know we’ve always said it’s cool to have a girl in the group, and it is, but, y’know, if it turned out that…” He hesitates too.
“That…?” Why are my arms folded? Why is my face burning? I’ve explained my avatar preferences to myself a million times, why is it so hard to explain it to my friends?
“We think you’re a dude with a veejay.” Ryan has no fucking tact ohmygod. “And you never know unless you ask, right? So…” He shrugs and swigs his stupid filtered water.
Everyone else is fiddling with stuff. Not looking at their screen.
“Wh-what the hell, dude!” I take a deep breath and try to smooth out my spluttering. “What, I’m suddenly not girl enough for you??”
“Hey, if you’re just butch, that’s whatever man.” How dare he have the gall to act like this is a normal conversation! “It’s no odds to us. But if you, I dunno, want to try being called ‘he’ and ‘brother’ outside of the RP chat, or something…”
Everyone else is nodding. Still not quite making eye contact.
Jack ventures “I-I mean, you normally want us to call you by your character names anyway, so… if you want to, um, try other names out?”
“I - that - that’s just a, a headspace thing!”
They’re exchanging looks with each other again.
“Ok, well… whatever makes you happy.”

Prompt was “Longing”.
[Just to be clear, butch women exist (both cis and trans) and their womanhood is 100% valid. But amongst all the other harm caused by policing women’s gender presentation is trans guys being bogged down with “Am I trans or sexist??”. Also GNC AFABs tend to get shoved into the “tomboy” box and then it takes a long time to figure out who we actually are. Because yeah, there’s as many ways to be a woman as there are women… but that doesn’t help those of us who aren’t women.]