A Special Meeting Of The Eldritch Botany Club

Some people assumed that because the Eldritch Botany Club advertised itself as a “fun and friendly group”, you needn’t arrive precisely at the listed four o’clock. Nobody made that mistake twice.

A Special Meeting Of The Eldritch Botany Club
Photo by Annie Spratt / Unsplash

20260330

Prompt from DailyPrompt.com

Some people assumed that because the Eldritch Botany Club advertised itself as a “fun and friendly group”, you needn’t arrive precisely at the listed four o’clock.
Nobody made that mistake twice. Though Herbert had been late multiple times, for various reasons, so was painfully aware of the scathing disapproval he’d receive from Ms Donna and the other, as he thought of them, sticklers.
He was braced to be glared at, have to apologise multiple times, justify each minor mistake or trivial misfortune which led him to be here a whopping seventeen minutes late. If it wasn’t for the fact that, having earned a place amongst ‘the regulars’, he knew Ms Donna would expect a suitable reason he’d bailed without warning, he'd just go home. Ugh.
Besides, he wanted to ask advice on perking up his Jupiter Fly Trap. It was barely even sparking.
So he gingerly opened the door to the hallowed back room of the renowned Strange and Exotic Plant Shop, or “SEPS” as it was fondly called by the group. Ms Donna’s botanical kingdom. Carefully rehearsed grovelling ready to drop from his lips.
But nobody glared at him. Nobody even looked up. The usually quiet and orderly group was awash with animated chatter, and Ms Donna was misty-eyed and beaming.
Baffled, for a moment Herbert hovered in the doorway. Then he decided to sit down and hope that maybe nobody would notice he’d only just got here.
What was going on? While the meets were usually pleasant (except when someone had committed a terrible faux pas, such as being late or criticising the quality of the refreshments), it’d never been so upbeat and energised. This felt like a party!
Oh dear. He’d missed some huge announcement, hadn’t he? And now he couldn’t ask what it was, for fear of ticking off Ms Donna and ruining the mood. But sitting silent was suspicious, and possibly rude, and definitely no fun.
He scanned the table, seeking clues. None of the plants people had brought looked noteworthy. Well, for this group. No rosettes or such proudly displayed. Nobody was wearing a birthday badge, or event shirt, or anything which told him what was going on.
Who seemed most excited? While that wasn’t a good clue, it being different group members had very different levels of excitability, it’d be something.
Hm. Bearing that in mind… the happiest person seemed to be Ms Donna herself.
Oh dear. She hadn’t gone and actually poisoned that patronising horticulturist, had she?? No, no, surely people wouldn’t be delighted about that. Even if the fellow was irritating (even by warlock standards).
So what could it be?
Wait. Wasn’t today…?
Herbert surreptitiously checked his phone under the table. Yes! How could he have forgotten? He’d been all excited for it this morning, but in the hustle and bustle of the busy workday since it’d slipped his mind.
Today was the 83rd “Best Local Garden Centre” award. Ms Donna and the rest of the group had worked hard to try and improve the SEPS this past year in hopes of finally moving from second place to third…
Successfully!! Ha! That was one in that sneering warlock’s eye! Take your nonsense about witches and ‘lesser crafts’ and shove it! Oh, this was far better revenge than just poisoning the fool.
While he had his phone out, he quickly checked something else, then leant forward and called across the hubbub “Say, have we settled on where to enjoy our victory dinner?”
Ms Donna dabbed at her eyes and blinked at him. “Victory dinner?”
“I think one’s called for.” Herbert said reasonably. “Don’t you?”
The reaction was mixed, mostly based on which group members didn’t like eating out. He ignored this and forged on “Because, well, there’s this lovely cafe just the other side of town… known for its fine selection of vegan and vegetarian dishes… which according to the website is open right now - and it might even be decorated for the occasion.”
It took a moment for people to catch on. Then Ms Donna threw her head back and cackled.
“Oh, yes! Yes, I think we really should. Thank you, Herbert, for the suggestion.”
Herbert grinned and bounded back to his feet. The whole group was nodding now - a few members having had the joke quietly explained to them by their neighbours.
With a flourish Ms Donna put on her favourite hat, resplendent with black flowers (all natural, and indeed still alive) and declared “Come, my dears, let us go and, hu hu, console poor Mr Bloodwart with our business. I’m sure our good cheer is precisely what he needs right now.”
Admittedly the amount of money they were liable to spend ought to act as a decent consolation, but given Mr Bloodwart’s temperament Herbert suspected the fellow would rather pay handsomely than have his sworn nemesis holding her victory party at his snooty dining establishment, attached to his award winning (but now second place) garden centre.
This was going to be hilarious. Certainly a night to remember - even if the authorities ended up getting involved. Herbert was so glad he hadn’t just gone home!

Prompt was “Write a scene from the perspective of someone who arrives late, after something important has already happened.”

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