A Suitably Harsh Group Review

20260828

Written for “Smogust’s Story Hoard”, prompt 20.

Dust rose in two clouds along the southeast road, a large billowing cloud from the angry mob waving farming tools and a smaller arrow-head cloud from the two figures fleeing before them.
“This is your fault.” Ruby gasped, struggling to build up enough speed to take off with Murdo clinging to her back. Why were dwarves so dense??
“My fault?” Murdo spluttered. “You’re the one who fluffed your lines!”
As if his job wasn’t to cover for such things! Honestly. They were supposed to be a team, and he was the more experienced swindler.
Unable to spare air to argue, Ruby simply growled “Humph…!” and redoubled her attempts to take flight.
Thankfully none of the villagers had arrows or throwable spears. But then, they wouldn’t have tried terrorising the place if any of the locals had weapons good against dragons. Too risky. Plus it made it less likely anybody would be willing to cough up for a “dwarven shaman” to drive the “rampaging monster” off.
It was a routine that usually worked well, so long as no actual dragon hunters turned up. But then, usually some nasty gobby crone didn’t stand up in the midst of their dramatic confrontation and start shouting “Boo! Frauds!”
After that things went to pieces very quickly.
“I think they’re giving up.” Murdo offered hopefully, peering back over his shoulder. “But, er, maybe don’t slow down just yet…”
Easy for him to say! She wasn’t going to have a choice soon. For now she at least gave up on flapping and trying to jump into the air. Just running, while slower than flight, was less tiring.
“Ok, well,” Murdo mused briskly, “we’ll need to get out of this kingdom sharpish, I’m thinking head south across the gulf and look for places flush from harvest. I’ll check the map when we next stop.”
Which was going to be happening the moment she wasn’t worried about getting a pitchfork up her tail!
It was days like this when Ruby contemplated getting a proper job. Or maybe giving up on collecting a hoard altogether. But… when this gig did work, it was easy money, and the only chance she really had to polish up her acting skills… competition was fierce for dragons in theatre.
Ugh. Curse that stupid crone! Hecklers were the worst! No respect for people just trying to make a living.

I took the prompt as “A dragon and a dwarf flee an angry mob”.

Click through to see the funny art which inspired this story (and maybe check out other fiction written for it while you're there).