An Inescapable Teacher

Prompt from Eiiri’s Prompt Foundry, “Pride 2 Disability Boogaloo”.

It amuses me how, even now, they’re baffled by my success with this dangerous magic. Assuming that I mastered it in spite of my body’s weakness, when in truth that weakness was my greatest teacher.
In turn, I cannot believe those who studied this orb before me failed to notice the warning signs of their bodies. Couldn’t feel what was happening to them. I suppose after a long apprenticeship full of all-nighters and cramming they had lost touch with their limits.
Fools.
The orb buzzes between my palms. Not with malevolence; that was yet another projection on their part. No, the magic it holds is no more intent on hurting me than my own body is. And I long since came to terms with the fact that, however antagonistic the limits my illness imposes on me feels, it is in fact my body trying to help me. Help us. Keep us safe.
Just as the itching vertigo and draining sensation which flare up every time I channel the strange power of the orb are natural limiters. So long as I monitor these symptoms closely, and cut the connection as soon as they reach what I’ve learned are concerning levels, no harm comes to me.
Is it alive? I’m not sure. I cannot tell whether these warning signs are deliberate assistance on part of the orb itself, or my body once again guiding me away from harm.
Figuring that out is the main goal of my studies. I have already learned how to channel the orb’s power effectively, and mapped out which spells it excels at or is ill-suited to. More than enough for my Masterwork thesis. Particularly compared to the paltry notes of my predecessors. But I am not satisfied.
I will make them take back every disparaging word they spoke of me. Every hint of mockery over my slow, drawn-out studies. I will not be remembered as ‘the eternal apprentice’, but the one who cracked a mystery centuries old, which stumped - and even claimed the lives of - wizards viewed as far more talented and promising than I.
Eventually. Teasing apart this corrosive magic is a slow process, after all. But I am well used to long endeavours. Near everything is, for me.
I return the orb to its runed box and finish my notes for the day. A few more observations. A few more glimpses of the truth.
One day, I will crack it. I am inevitable.
Nothing teaches patience like weakness.

Prompt was “Respecting limits”.