Bully Eater's Return 3 (End)

Part 2 here.

Pat looked back at the screen. “…None of these are good enough-”

[you will NEVER make something ‘good enough’ just start already]

[or I’ll pick one]

[actually lets do that you make the login and I’ll post some stuff for you]

[to get you started]

“Uhh…” A wry smile curved Pat’s lips. “No offence, but your grammar is terrible.”

Bully Eater lapped at his cheek. [you try typing without hands asshole]

“Ok, ok. Fair.” Pat wrapped the figment in a one-armed hug. “Fine. Let’s… let’s do this.”

He could always delete it all later.

Let’s see… this email worked. It didn’t look professional but it wasn’t just a string of random letters or a crude holdover from his preteen sense of humour. Profile pic… ugh, he had nothing. He rarely even took photos these days, other than reminders to himself. A shot of a takeaway receipt was a heady mix of too personal and the wrong kind of artsy.

[so use one of the stock pics they have loads]

“Yeah. Sure. I’ll just make sure it’s not the default.”

Sooo email, let them supply the profile pic, name…

“I-I’m gonna use an alias.”

[fine but add artist on the end]

Pat huffed. “Fine.”

A quick online search, a few clicks in an internet alias generator, and “Poggleswish, artist” had a profile. He typed in a faltering fumbling painfully basic bio about wanting to share his work and get better, then averted his gaze as Bully Eater uploaded images.

Velvet sandpaper rasped his ear. The page had been closed, leaving only the note.

[proud of you]

[don’t let anybody get you down]

[especially you I won’t stand for it]

“Thanks, bud.”

Pat hugged the figment tight, burying his face in amorphous rage and frustration and hope. It smelled like the closet he’d hide in to get away from the world. It swallowed his mumbled I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight.

So put coffee on and draw, Bully Eater told him. Just do it away from the computer.

You can check for responses tomorrow. You know there probably won’t be any. That’s ok.

Then in your breaks you can follow other people and say nice things on their posts and ask for advice. You will be sharing and listening and lifting up other artists and you will get better.

You’ll see.

You’ve already come so far in the time I’ve known you but you won’t get better if you don’t try.

And yeah work through that todo list but make sure the art comes first ok?

“Yeah. Ok.”

Pat released the figment and felt a pang as it melted away. But he knew it wasn’t gone for good. He’d need it again, and it would answer the call, and eat what tormented him. Even if that was his own thoughts.

For now… coffee. Drawing tablet. Put a sketch practice slide show on the TV where browsing was a pain. Ignore the laptop.

Dream with eyes wide open.