Heroically Unprepared

20260529

Written for Bradley Ramsey’s “Halls Of Pandemonium”, Day 29.

Ah, yes. Fear not, child, I know who you are. Your coming was foretold, after all. The Roots see far, far further than we can.
Here. The Gilt Caterpillar.
…
What?
You… don’t know what it’s for?
You are here to slay the Skullmuld, yes?
Good, good. For that is certainly the Kempt Sigil you are carrying. Given to you by…?
Ahh, the line of sages completed their mission. I hope they are proud of you.
Hm? Well, yes, while I do not wish to sound callous, nor dismiss any grief you might be experiencing, nobody becomes a prophesied mentor if they have retirement plans. I did not expect to ever meet the last sage.
However, the details may be pertinent. So, if you are able, could you tell me how the sage died?
…
I see. No, no, it’s quite alright, do not force yourself further. With it being clearly the work of those wretched Mulders, perhaps the sage thought he had longer to instruct you - though you certainly seem of age to me. And I would have thought that the earlier you were taught about your task, the better. But perhaps I am mistaken on that front. After all, the sages were chosen to train you, and I was merely entrusted with the Caterpillar.
Well, yes, someone has to explain. We can’t send you against the Skullmund without you knowing what to do. Let me try my best.
Deep within the Fractured Caverns, in the only spot where light manages to weave all the way into the dank heart of the cursed mountain, there is a golden sapling. This is where you must place the Gilt Caterpillar, and water the sapling with mermaid tears.
Nobody told you about the mermaid tears?
When was your mentor killed, again? Was it some years ago, or…?
Mmhm. You have done admirably, making it here across the steppes in only a month. We are fortunate indeed that you are a brisk traveller.
Because now you must go back.
Yes, that’s right, the tales about mermaids in the Brooch Isles are true. Well, I shouldn’t say that, who knows what tales people have come up with. But there are mermaids living in the waters nearby. And once you have presented the Kempt Sigil they should be happy to help you. I don’t suppose you know any moving, tragic ballads? That always gets them blubbing.
Really? Have people truly said that to you?? That seems most unkind. Your voice can’t be that unpleasant!
Well. You needn’t sing, if it will make you self-conscious. They have plenty of talented musicians. Simply get the mermaid tears, and make sure they are packed for travel. And don’t fret, for no other part of your quest involves singing.
Though, if you can play an instrument, that will save you a great deal of time passing through the Shifting Range. The hermit there knows tunes which soothe and coax the irksome geology.
I imagine a penny-whistle would work, yes. If that’s what you have, then - oh. Do make sure to buy one, then.
Actually, have you paper, perchance? We should probably start writing things down.
Really? Sending letters to your family! What a conscientious hero you are. Lucky for us.
Right then. Mermaid tears from waters near the Brooch Isles. An instrument you can learn quickly. Oh, yes yes, a suitable container for the tears.
Now… what else…
I don’t suppose your mentor instructed you about getting through the Fractured Caverns?
Naturally.
Oh, please don’t look like that! I promise my ire is not directed at you, child. You are clearly trying your best despite many people having failed you. I wish there was someone better than me to turn to. Being part of a tree does limit one’s understanding of the world, even with the marvellous wisdom of the Roots to draw on.
Well. The caverns. A horrid maze of tunnels produced by the mountain cracking apart when the Skullmund burst through.
It’s certainly not been there forever! Though, there have been… four sages? Which probably seems like forever to a sprig like you. But the Skullmund came out of the Abyss, and the unfortunate mountain which happened to be on top of where it emerged was shattered by the force of such an unnatural creature barging into our world. Chunks flew for miles. Each carrying disgusting foul energies. Where do you think all these monsters came from?
Oh.
Well, yes, I suppose there’s no point questioning the ‘why’ of something which has existed for four generations. Let us simply be glad you are used to dealing with them.
Oh! Speaking of which, your sword. Have you been warned that no normal blade can harm the Skullmund? I’m afraid so, an unfortunate side-effect of it being from the otherworldly Abyss. No, you do not need to find a special weapon, you need to make one. That is what the business with the Gilt Caterpillar and golden sapling and mermaid tears is about.
Exactly! I am so very glad you are quick on the uptake, child. We may yet not be doomed. The tears will make the sapling grow more leaves, the Gilt Caterpillar eats them, and once it turns into a Jewelled Butterfly - don’t worry, I’m sure it’s much faster than the usual process - you should be able to fuse it into a weapon of your choice.
No no no, a bow won’t work. It has to be the weapon used against the Skullmund. I suppose you could fuse it with an arrow, but then you only have one shot. I’m afraid you’re going to have to get close and fight it. Believe me, I don’t envy you.
Yes, that is the only Gilt Caterpillar. And besides, we are now out of sages, their prepared wisdom lost. While I do not wish to frighten you, child, things are… rather dire.
But! Hope is not lost. We must try.
Speaking of… between here and the Shifting Range…

Prompt was “Write a piece that utilises non-linear storytelling”.