I Wish Reality Had A Tags System

Because personal branding is hard when you're liminal.

Apologies in advance; this has a lot of pictures.

How do I want people to read me? Not my work, ME.

What assumptions are they likely to make? What assumptions do I want them to make? What assumptions do I desperately want to avoid?
Because people make assumptions. We do. Even when we try not to, we do.

For example, despite the fact I know tons of wonderful lovely Christians who are actively supportive of me and the marginalised communities I’m part of… if I see an author wearing cross earrings in their profile pic I’m going to give them a wide berth unless I also see something which explicitly signals that they support me having human rights. I know I’m missing out on some great people this way, but it doesn’t feel worth risking burns.

So, how do I apply this knowledge to myself? How do I boil down “me” into a tidy (or at least comprehensible) list that someone can get the gist of while glancing at me in a crowded Con dealers’ room? What is the equivalent of tagging your posts or adding hashtags to your profile when out in the “real world”?

And that’s without getting into the slippery concept of “authenticity”, which as a lifelong masker genuinely leaves me at a loss. Where do you place the line between “putting your best self forward” and “creating a persona”? Makeup can be used to turn your face into trippy optical illusions or it can be used to make you look on camera exactly as you do in real life. I want to fall more towards the latter end (particularly since I’ve had people assume I must be doing some elaborate online bit when actually I was just relaxing my ‘normal_human.exe’ emulator) but that leaves me with a million separate-yet-connected micro-decisions.

I’d been chewing this over for a while before resolving to write this essay, and I have gnawed further since. My pondering has been hampered by a couple of factors:

• I know SFA about fashion, clothing, or the art of self presentation.
• Being nonbinary renders the vast majority of advice on the above useless.
• I have not only failed to settle into a genre, genre-wise I am writing at cross-purposes (sometimes it’s whacky whimsy, sometimes it’s horror, sometimes it’s thinly veiled social commentary…). So advice on “dressing to your genre” is hard to implement.
• Everything I do has to work around my disabilities/chronic health issues.
• I’m on a shoestring budget. (This goes last because it’s the easiest to work around, but it does make the whole thing more complicated/more work.)

Further complicating the topic is that I need different “editions” of my authorial self. How do I want to look…
On a regular update video call to fans?
While doing a book signing at my local library?
On a panel at a conference?
At an awards ceremony?

It’s a big sprawling question. Ideally I want to curate a lil wardrobe of “uniforms” which combine to cover all the bases. So whatever situation I am trying to “author” in I don’t look out of place and I look like me, both in being recognisable and presenting an authentic-and-digestible impression.
Whatever that means.

So… what have I settled on?
Well, I know how I don’t want to be read, which is a start; I am not a woman, so I want to avoid anything which makes people read me as such. I’m also not a man, so I don’t want a fully masculine look. And being repeatedly mistaken for a pubescent boy is annoying and awkward AT BEST so I definitely want to steer clear of anything which makes that more likely.
In summary, androgynous leaning towards masc, mature, creative professional. But what does that mean with regards to clothes???

For reference, this is me just existing, not worrying about presenting anything.

It is entirely authentic. It also, I suspect, doesn’t tell you anything about what the experience of reading my writing is like.

And here are my “first draft” author photos. (Photography by my lovely mother. Any copies I end up using will have my acne digitally painted over. And I’ll probably take a new set once my eyelid is less droopy.)

I am attempting to look my age by avoiding anything which resembles a school uniform (eg blazer) while leaning towards “smart casual” because it gives the “hello I am a vaguely put together adult person” vibe without actually being much effort. I want to be able to throw this on in minutes on autopilot. Anything which needs special care or preparation is right out. (Including ironing.)
Despite being one of those people whose default is black t-shirt over black jeans/sweatpants, I actually prefer outfits with colour. Probably should’ve picked branding colours I look good in, but oh well! Instead I’m going with wearing reds. I like cheery reds and I’ve been told I look good in red. And I think my logo would look good as a pin against it? Who knows. We’ll see.
Jeans are the easiest part of the outfit denim jeans are so default and neutral I love some of this process being simple. For a ~fancy~ event I’d swap them out for plain black suit trousers. Loose fit.
I already owned the shoes. Added the rainbow laces a few Prides ago. And I feel like black-and-white leather with cotton rainbows kinda fits with the “sometimes dark shit sometimes whimsy!” thing? So that’s “very me”.
Lastly, stud earrings shift the presentation from “masc” towards “tomboy…?? :puzzled squint:”. It does mean I get misgendered more, but I like lil earrings. They’re fun. And it’s slowly getting less gendered, which is nice.

What do you think? Do you get any particular “vibes” off these photos? Do they match my work or no? Which would make the best profile pic for my socials? (The publication logo is staying, I just feel my actual profiles should have my face rather than one of my cats.)

Other directions I’m going to be experimenting in:
• Adding a waistcoat to the shirt. I’m thinking dove grey? That really neutral shade. High neck, no collar, button-up. Takes it halfway to being a suit but isn’t too dressy (and definitely not like a GCSE student). That plus suit trousers would be my “swanky” uniform.
• Trying contrast collar polo shirts. Specifically I’m thinking red with white collar. To me this perfectly fits the “casual professional” look; it emulates the shirt + waistcoat combo while being something you can wear in a grocery store. Also, I found someone offering personalised ones for pretty much the same cost as off-the-shelf and I think having an “author uniform” with my publication logo on would be nifty.
• Actually doing something about my acne. I have oily skin and autistic inability to ignore Pressure and Texture on my skin, so I generally have nasty scabs. Wanting to go on camera fairly regularly is good impetus to finally try stuff out and find treatment/management options which are easy and cheap. I’m already scrubbing my face twice a day, using different soaps each time is hardly a big step up.

Any other suggestions/advice?