I'm Not Paid To Monitor The Parking Lot, Pal

20261016

Written for the Second Indulgence, Prompt #11

“Whaddya mean, you ‘don’t know’?” The police officer scoffed, folding his arms.
The young fast food worker shrugged, their dead stare unwavering.
“How long have you worked here?”
“Too long, man.”
The officer glowered. “Don’t get lippy with me, punk! How long have you worked here?”
A sigh. Then “Two years. Part time. Started mid-April.”
“And was this ‘sinkhole’ here when you started?”
“Nah.”
“So, when did it appear?”
“I dunno, man, I don’t get parking anyways.” They gave a lopsided shrug. “It’s newer than the shake machine not working.”
“Oh, for…” The officer scribbled a note about uncooperative witnesses. “I’m going to inspect the disturbance.”
“Cool.”
So he stalked across the parking lot to where a handful of traffic cones with red and white striped tape strung between them blocked off what would be three parking spaces, if those spaces hadn’t been swallowed by a perfectly round, impossibly deep pit. The walls of which were made of a slick reddish clay-like substance entirely unlike the loam you got around here.
He gingerly peered in. An earthy, faintly sour smell wafted out on the warm draft.
Despite the reports, the hole appeared silent. He turned and stomped back to the takeout window. “People claim it talks.”
“Yeah.” They said, disturbingly uninterested.
“…Yes, people claim that, or yes, you can confirm the hole talks to people?”
“Yeah.” They gave another half-shrug. As if lifting two shoulders at once was unreasonable effort.
He frowned, his eyes narrowing. “Would you say its presence has a psychological effect on people?”
“Weirds ‘em the fuck out.”
“Uh-huh. What I mean is, were you this lackadaisical before the hole appeared?”
Silence. They stared blankly at him. Seeming baffled. Then one side of their mouth curled up. If you’d never seen a smile before in your life, you might mistake this expression for such.
“You,” they said with serene confidence, “have never worked customer service.”
He sniffed. “No, I got a decent education and went into a proper job.”
“Uh-huh.” Their smirk didn’t waver.
Idiot.
He huffed and impatiently pressed “Have you heard the hole talk?”
“Not really. Can’t hear words from over here. Just sounds like grumbling. But people claim if they walk near it with food, it starts begging them to feed it.”
“…And do they?”
“We tell them not to.”
“And do they listen?”
Another blank stare. “You, like, have met the general public, yeah?”
“So, what happens if they feed it?”
“Big tongue thing comes whipping out of the hole and tries to eat ‘em.”
“…The food?”
“That too.”
“The hole tries to eat people??”
“Yeah. Hasn’t managed it yet. But that’s when management decided they oughta report it. Y’know, before we get a liability case.”
“How do you still have customers???”
“The next takeaway place is half an hour’s drive away and buses are shit.”
“I can’t believe this!” He fumed, stomping back over to glare down the hole. There was no sign of a ‘tongue thing’. No sign of anything at all, in fact. Just a featureless pink shaft sinking straight down into darkness.
He spent a few minutes pacing around it, listening, but nothing happened.
Finally he headed back to the takeaway window. “I need some food to test this claim.”
“‘Kay. Fries are seventy-nine pence.”
He drew himself up and glowered. “I need them to carry out my duty as an officer of the law, trying to uphold the peace.”
“That’s nice. Seventy-nine pence, please.”
Silence.
He huffed. “You should be giving them to me for free! You’re obstructing an officer trying to carry out their duty.”
“I haven’t been told anything about that. Just been told to charge people for food.”
“Where is your manager?”
“God only knows.”
“Mmmph!” He fumed and fumbled out his wallet. “Fine! But I’ll be writing you up for this.”
“‘Kay.”
The fries were cold, but hopefully that wouldn’t matter. He slowly approached the hole again.
Was it his imagination, or was that sour, warm breeze stronger now?
Then there was a puff of air, and this time he caught a sort of musky scent. Followed by a hoarse, slurred whisper, echoing up from the depths.
“So… hungry… please…”
“I am an officer of the law. What is your name?”
“So… hungry…”
He raised an eyebrow. “I asked for your name.”
“Please… food…”
“Are you aware that this is private property, and you are squatting?”
“Hungreeee…”
“Oh, for - this is a waste of time.” He shook his head and turned away, dropping the fries on the floor. He’d just have to-
A blast of air, hot and sour and carrying a groan, was all the warning he got before a long pink tentacle smashed onto the discarded bag of food.
“Sh-”
The second tentacle knocked him flat, grasping clumsily at him, and dragged him backwards, pulling the tape barrier with it.
His scream was cut off with a wet squelching noise.
“…Huh.” The worker rested their chin on one hand. Their expression faintly pensive. “Wonder if that’s a liability case for us, or a workplace accident case for them? Oh well.”
Shaking this off, they shuffled over to the work phone and pulled out their phone to look up the number for the local police station.
“Hey. Yeah. Can you send someone to pick up your car? Your patrol car. Oh, he fell down the sinkhole. Yeah. I did try and warn him. Um. I guess he’s at the bottom? No, I can’t hear anything. I would go check, but, like, can’t leave my station, so… What? Uhhhh yeah sure I can call an ambulance for you. Yeah, I meant, for him, instead of you call- Huh? Er… no, I guess the car’s not urgent. I mean, he bought something, so he gets an hour parking… Yeah, sure. No skin off my nose. Dunno if the manager’s even in today. Bye.”
They hung up, sighed, and started dialling emergency services.
“Study computer science, they said, you’re guaranteed a good job, they said…”

Prompt was “When a sinkhole opened in the Taco Bell parking lot, no one batted an eye. When it started growing, people went to the other Taco Bell in town. When it started demanding sacrifices, well, that’s when people started to take note.”

Read other stories written for this prompt here.