Oaths And Guidelines

20250712

Prompt from DailyPrompt.com

“Good afternoon, Mr Gramble. How are you today?”
The elderly goblin let out a weary huff, the tips of his ears curling and uncurling. “Well. Given the state of the world right now… can’t complain, I suppose.”
Dr Kylie smiled sympathetically. “I get you. Are your joints any better?”
“No. Tried mugwort - my cousin swears by it. Didn’t do a jot.”
“Oh dear.” Kylie took his outstretched hand for inspection The joints were visibly swollen, and his talons cracked and flaky. “Hm. Have you had your humors checked recently?”
“They keep swearing my levels are normal, but I think I’ve got too much phlegm. Runs in the family - my mum and granddad had the same problem.”
“Alright. Let’s go with the symptoms and I’ll prescribe you some arsenic patches to try.”
“Thanks, doc.” Gramble gave a grateful grin, his ears relaxing. “The big man won’t give you trouble for it, yeah?”
Kylie gave a razor-thin smile. “He’s learned not to get between a changeling and her patients’ welfare.”
Gramble chuckled approvingly, then reflectively added “Other than that, everything’s been pretty normal.”
“Then the tests shouldn’t take long at all.” Kylie said breezily, and set to work.
Half an hour later she cheerfully announced “Yes, you seem in overall excellent health. Ten out of ten on your tongue reach, that’s a good sign. Excellent barometer for soft tissue health, you know.”
“Uh-huh.” Gramble wrinkled his nose and smirked to himself, thankfully too polite to make any lewd comments. Unlike Mrs Gramble, who would’ve been all over that statement. Well, if whatever ‘workout’ routine he was following worked…
Turning back to the results, Kylie mused “There are concerning points on the Other hearing tests, however. Looks like you might be starting to lose the lower magical range. I’ll refer you to a specialist at the hospital.”
“Ah. And here was me thinking the troll kiddies were getting quieter.”
Kylie quirked an eyebrow, a wry smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “That really should’ve been a tip-off.”
“Well, easy to say in hindsight.” Gramble flapped a hand. “Hope them hearing gems have got smaller since my dad needed ‘em, they gave him neck-ache.”
“Oh yes, designs have moved on a lot in the past three decades. Much lighter and more comfortable, especially if you choose an ‘all-day’ make. You can get fashionable casings now, too.”
“Meh. I’m a plain silver fella.” Gramble twiddled his marital nose ring, which was elegantly understated. Very traditionalist.
“Then you’ll have plenty of options.” Kylie tapped her pen on the page. “Let’s see… Keep up the low-iron diet, your liver’s much better. While the rock-climbing’s good, I’d look into additional exercise which doesn’t strain your hands. We’ll follow up on the discussed issues in two months.”
“Thanks, doc.” Gramble hopped off the stool. “We’re glad to have you. So often it’s tests tests tests and never any help!”
Kylie smiled. “Oh, well - ask a changeling to choose between oaths and guidelines, and that’s what you get.”

Prompt was “Write a short story about a fantasy creature going to the doctor for their yearly check-up. What would they measure? What constitutes as 'normal’?”