The Travails Of Draconic Subletting

Written for “Smogust’s Story Hoard”, prompt 11.

Ms Lovelace had the castle real estate agent look down pat; crisp modern business suit, warded and eminently fashionable steel toe-capped boots, magic satchel containing all legal documentation and assorted materials for the region, thousand-yard-stare, hair pulled back in a tidy bun, fireproof coat, and most importantly of all, a clipboard with a good quality ballpoint tied to it.
A perfect contrast to the scruffy fellow who’d just gotten out of a beaten-up pickup truck and was peering pensively up at the castle behind her.
“Dr Bloodthorn?”
“That’s me.” He pushed his hood back and smiled brightly. “You’re the, er, representative? Or whatever it’s called.”
“Yes, I’m here to show you around on behalf of the owner.” Ms Lovelace took a deep breath. “Now, I’m sure you read the listing very carefully, but to be sure we’re all on the same page, yes the castle has a genuine dragon living in it, that dragon is the legal owner and is looking to rent out everything except the top of the north tower.”
Dr Bloodthorn bemusedly nodded, but she wasn’t finished.
“The dragon is not an ‘infestation’ or ‘pest’, cannot be removed, is not an animal, and is not looking to sell the property. Refusal to accept any of the aforementioned facts will result in any agreement we have signed with you being immediately void. Any questions?”
“Er, yeah - how many people do you get showing up who didn’t read the first paragraph of the listing?”
Ms Lovelace gave a razor smile. “Three today.”
“Blimey.” Dr Bloodthorn shook his head. “I hope none of them were wizards. Checking the fine print is very important in magic.”
“And also in law. I take it none of that was a surprise to you?”
“No.” Dr Bloodthorn pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it to reveal a print-out of the listing, with notes scrawled in the margins. “And my only real question is about airspace rights. Since I assume the dragon will be flying in and out?”
“Ah, a sensible question.” Ms Lovelace’s smile widened. “I will forward it to the owner. But I’m sure that any airspace needs you have should be easy to accommodate.”
“Good, good. Just looking to run some pigeons and a magic carpet, so I’m sure we can set up lanes or something. But I wanted to check.”
“Well, if we assume that matter is solvable, should we begin the tour?”
“Please.” Dr Bloodthorn pulled out a notebook and mechanical pencil.
Ms Lovelace opened the solid oak front gate and waved him inside. “So, a wizard? Are you looking to set up a practice here?”
“Not exactly - I’m getting out of teaching and into research. Golem engineering, specifically. So I need a lot of space, what with wanting to test out not only cleaning models but also farming, building, all sorts.”
“Well, this should be perfect for your needs - some of it could even do with a bit of touching up, lots of potential for testing golems there…”
“Ah. Good to know. Nice spin, by the way. I’m going to want a detailed list of those spots.”
Ms Lovelace smoothly ignored this. “Starting with the central garden, which was renovated a hundred years ago…”

I took the prompt as “Dragon Real Estate”.

To see the gorgeous art (and read other stories written for this prompt) click through.