Urban Magical Survey Corps

20260331

Prompt from DailyPrompt.com

“I don’t understand.” Edna declared, in that managerial tone which seemed to expect reality to politely conform to the project plan. “I thought the rumour you were investigating was a simple one?”
Gus fixed his gaze on the middle distance and strove to keep his voice equally level. “It’s a simple rumour, yes. But that doesn’t mean it’s simple to test. Well, I mean, it’d be simple to-”
Fortunately he caught himself before giving the blasted pen-pusher more ammunition for their righteous ignorance of the real world. “Ah, what I mean is, well, you have the brief there, right? People in this district believe that anyone who falls down a manhole disappears. Poof. Never seen again.”
“That’s what the investigation brief says, yes. So what’s the problem?”
“We’ve checked every manhole this side of the city and none of them have any trace of extra-planer magic. No hint of teleportation, inter-realm travel, or pocket dimensions.”
“So you’ve disproved the rumour. Why are you wasting my time instead of filling in your report?”
Oh, for - where were they getting desk agents these days?? Did none of them have basic training in field work, or at least scientific analysis?
Gus deliberately unclenched his jaw and forced a smile, in the hope the polite expression would somehow make itself felt across the call. “We haven’t proven or disproven anything. With no readable magics, we would have to perform manual testing, and-”
“So you’re hereby authorised for manual testing. Get on with-”
“I CAN’T JUST SHOVE SOMEONE DOWN A BLOODY MANHOLE!!” Gus exploded, thoroughly out of patience. “Especially not one which might vanish them who-knows-where with no way back! Best case it’s a mundane fall so we’re looking at serious risk of injury, worse case I’ll have extra-planar-banished them! Or, hell, what if it doesn’t take them anywhere, it decorporealises them?”
“…Ah.”
While shouting at people was a bad habit, and terribly unprofessional, it did seem to have penetrated her brusque disinterest.
After a moment Edna probed “What do you suggest?”
“I suggest you mark this case as ‘unconfirmed’, we get the council to put in security cameras for the manholes to catch evidence if such a disappearance ever does happen, and we all move on with our lives.”
“Our department gets marked on how many cases we set as ‘unconfirmed’, you know!”
“Mm. I suspect we get marked on how many people we disappear, too.”
“Well, but, there must be something we can…”
Gus massaged the spot between his eyebrows, which was starting to throb. “Do you have a suggestion?”
“Can’t we just fit the tester with a recall spell?”
“If we knew where they’d be sent, sure. But we don’t. In fact, as I said, we don’t even know if it’ll transport them, much less whether it’ll do so safely.”
“Hm. That - please hold.”
Without waiting for his response that annoyingly soothing music started.
Gus muted his phone so he could sigh heavily.
“If we’re not dinged for disappearing people, I quit!”

Prompt was “Write a fantasy story based on a rumour that the people of one district have believed for generations.”